“no matter what”, he said.

“no matter what”, i echoed.

and the shadow made itself known as i sat among the trees.

i started to pull it out of my throat and chest.

my shadow was now hovering in front of me - an oddly shaped black hole, attached to my heart and throat by sticky gooey spider webs. she felt so familiar.

but what if i get rejected over and over again forever? what if i end up truly alone?

i paused. a deep breath, inhaling the forest floor.

“what gift do you have for me?” i asked her.

and she showed me.

aloneness is the fertile ground where you cultivate love. from here, the tiny seed sprouts, and grows into a giant tree, which bares fruit in every season and whose leaves are for the healing of all.

her gift is cultivating the set of aloneness into a generous vision of love, overflowing.

from here you don’t come to them from empty and needing.

you come from truth and adoration.

to serve. to build them up. to reflect to them their loveliness.

from the sacred space of aloneness comes epic, awesome, healing art.

in my aloneness i am connected to all things.

in my aloneness, my holy guardian angel comes to me. holds me. brushes the hair out of my eyes. and kisses me on the forehead.

in my aloneness, the feys, and the spirits of the land, and of the stars, and of the grandmothers, and of the gods come to me.

in my aloneness i find what i love.

how to be loved.

i find love.

my aloneness is rich.

in my aloneness i am never alone.

“and the glimmer of the presence of the gods was like lilies, and like water lillies.” (d.h. lawrence)

🌿🧚🏼🍄🕸✨

one of 30 mixed media paintings in the series “under the giant trees” inspired by plant medicine and nature friends.

12 inch by 24 inch

mixed media on gallery wrapped canvas.

it forms a beautiful triptych with “the gift in the shadow II” & II.

amongst the delectable textures of these paintings, you will find ethereal glimpses of tea, roses, poppies, cannabis, mushroomiez of all kinds, spider webs, chamomile, crows, antlers, and more.