hello, love.

i am aware that it feels antsy to wait for the instructional videos not knowing when they will come. most of us are visual artists and geared aesthetically in general. we have seen and participated in lots of artist workshops and crave that visual stimulus and inspiration.

although videos of my creative process are coming, they are not meant to be the meat and potatoes of this program, and that is for a purposeful reason. originally i had a plan for this space that was quite straight forward, and allowing you a lot of freedom in the creative prompts while providing visual inspiration.

but as i have been feeling though it, tapping into the very intuitive process that i set out to teach on, and advertised the retreat as being about, i was myself challenged to lean into my edges. to take the risk and go slow, and follow the mystery, and go in by way of exploration of the uncomfortable places, of resistance itself.

if you are feeling resistance to the process, if you are feeling contraction, i encourage you to stay with it. it is through that feeling of resistance that you find the greatest opportunity for breakthrough. you are here because your heart said yes to something different. different feels unsafe. contraction is what happens when you feel unsafe. and now you have a choice to close or remain open and present to the process. no need to judge it. just feel it and feel it all the way through. and know that you will get out of it what you put in. how deep is your devotion? are you showing up for yourself and doing the work?

lean into the law of the universe: death & rebirth, ebb & flow, contraction & expansion. the seed gives up its life, alone, in the dark, before breakthrough, expansive new life and growth can come through. it's the contractions that bring the baby through. it's precisely that tension that is ripe with possibility. you get it. :)

what a wonderful segway into today's lesson that is all about connecting to the infinite source of creativity within you.

we started talking about our connection to Source and relationship with our Muse on day 1. the conversation continued briefly in the facebook group. let's take it deeper, and approach it by a different way.

the universe is in constant motion. everything is energy. there are two opposing, polarized, and complementary forces. we describe them differently depending on the tradition that we come from: ying & yang, positive & negative, feminine & masculine. i will talk about it in terms of feminine & masculine because it is the easiest for me to connect with.

when we talk about masculine & feminine, it has nothing to do with gender. we all have masculine and feminine energies flowing through us, although we tend to identify more strongly with one or the other.

in terms of creativity, the feminine represents the creative flow, while the masculine represents the structure. you need both in order to create art or any creative work that you might imagine, just as you need both in order to create literal life. ehemm ehemm.

a lot has been said about ways to create discipline, presence, and structure in order to show up consistently and make yourself available to the creative flow. that is the masculine energy that creates containers, without which the juice of creativity would be a shapeless puddle.

yet, when you show up and say to yourself: i have an hour in the studio, i have to finish this painting i have been working on, and it has to be brilliant and i have to sell it... how do you imagine that painting session will go?

we need to cultivate the feminine in order to unlock the creative freedom that we long for, the condition that makes it possible for creativity to flourish, the necessary ingredient for genuine creative expression.

feminine energy is everything movement, it is the flow of the universe. it is all feeling, and playful expression of those feelings. it is openess and expansion. if you are closing or numbing yourself to feeling, you are also numbing yourself to receving: love, healing, inspiration, creativity, abundance.

let's sit with this for a minute. let it sink in. this is precisely why i created this container to be about going deeply inside rather than reaching out for inspiration. there are plenty of those workshops available, but here we are. welcome to the jungle. welcome to the murky waters, the bloody, deep, raw, dark places that are at the source of all true creativity.

are you up for exploring some practical tools to tap into that connection to your source/sprit/god/muse/energy that runs through all things and is all things?

- breath to tap into deep knowing. breath in. breathe out. life. spirit. they are one and the same.

in greek, the word "pneuma" means breath, and it also means spirit. (it's where we get the word pulmonology - the study of the respiratory system). it's all related and our language shows the deep understanding of these concepts and the workings of the universe that our ancestors had and have lost in the translation. to breathe is to be alive. but we forget our own breath. we take it for granted, and we miss the deep wisdom that conscious breathing holds.

there are lots of amazing resources for conscious breathing. but even 10 minutes of sitting and focusing on your breath regularly will work miracles in helping you connect with your spirit and capital S Spirit. simply sit comfortably (but not so comfortably as to fall asleep) and pay attention to your in breath, and then your out breath. that's it. if thought some that distract from the focus on breath (as they are bound to do), simply say hello and let them float by.

- generosity to tap into abundance. ebb and flow. give and receive. you pour out to make space for more.

so many options to explore here. sharing your art is one. selling is an obvious one because it allows you to clear your inventory and space and because of the system we have set up where we trade time for money, you literally make more time to create. but in a more subtle way sharing what you create, creates more space to receive. pour it out, and more will come to you.

one very practical way i set up for myself to experience this trade off daily: i write morning pages. three pages of stream of consciousness writing every morning. before anything else (preferably - often doesn't happen first thing because #motherhood, but i make sure to do them every single day). sometimes i ask questions at night and stay open to receiving the answer in my morning pages. it's pure alchemy.

- rest to tap into productivity. cycles. rhythms. lucky for us women already built into our very bodies.

but living in the society that we do, patriarchal and capitalist values and patterns have taken over our intuitive ways of being, and instead of resting and replenishing our bodies and souls with the rhythms of nature, we overwork ourselves, are obsessed with productivity, medicate and numb the pain and resistance than ensue, distract ourselves from what we really need in all the possible ways - including with actual work or even art making (gulp).

the best way i know to tap into true rest is to set aside time to simply be and flow with what feels good in the moment, rather than plan restful activities ahead of time. stay with your five senses. really taste your food, really listen to the music, feel the textures of what you are wearing, feel into what your body and heart needs in the moment and follow that. just an hour of true constructive rest will be enlightening.

- explore your desires to tap into your intuition.

your desires matter. you have just been guilted and shamed and discouraged in every possible way out of what your heart longs for. and we long for what we belong to. our hearts knew the way to the life we are meant for this whole time. we have been discouraged from wanting too much, or the wrong things. we are supposed to stay manageable and small in order to fit in and get love and acceptance. so we slowly give up and hide the things we really want. even from ourselves.

straight forward practice: own your desires. and start reclaiming and claiming them.
make a list of your desires. start writing them and be honest with yourself. be bold. be explicit and detailed. be sensual and juicy and as adventurous as you want.
not what you were told that you should want, but what YOU dream of or are scared to dream of. you have to start by naming and claiming them so you can start creating what wants to come through you. if at least some aspect of you want wasn't for you, you wouldn't be having these desires. so if you say "a house", go deeper. what is underneath it? what do you want to do there? what does it look like? what is your favorite place in it and so on.


- non linear movement to tap into your creative flow. this is a foundational practice to connect with your feminine energy. raw and free. moving trauma and limiting beliefs right in and through your body. healing and integration for your feminine. dance dance dance. shake it off. move like the wild woman that you are. move paint on paper or canvas in big sweeping movements.

we will explore this one together in a couple of different ways in the next few days. but you can always start by putting on a song you love and letting your body move as she will.

i know that is a lot. it is not meant to intimidate, but to start giving us tools to explore that connection to source and our deeper knowing. i would love for you to start incorporating any of these into our daily practices. even if it's just the 10 minutes of conscious breathing.

explore with what feels good. and pay attention how it's affecting your connection to your intuition and your creative flow.


love,
-anca.